We teach the universe how to treat us. If we come from power, we ask for what we want, and assimilate any Nos we may get. If we feel powerless, we are back in our inner child, and may feel like we need to manipulate, tantrum, cajole, or we may ask, ask, ask and ask again hoping we’ll eventually get.

The biggest aspect of being in our power is being willing and able to handle a No to our request. That is where the powerful and powerless diverge. Those who have their little tantrum, freak out or other childish response to not getting their way are acting powerless. Those who honor the other person, who come from power in honoring the other person for being willing to be in their power and state their truth, those are the mature kings and queens in the world who respect themselves and others in their sovereignty.

Seeing Past the No

Someone who says No to us is doing us a huge favor. Getting a Yes that is given resentfully, reluctantly, by force, is not a true Yes. Nobody truly wishes to receive a meal cooked with that energy of I really would prefer to say No, or to receive sex given with that energy of I really don’t want to, or anything else for that matter, whether it is moving help or doing the dishes. While the starving man may need that meal cooked with spite and anger, any rational human being is better off waiting for a meal cooked with joy, even love. 

The wisdom of seeing past the No is looking past the transaction at the experience. Our body is a very sensitive organism with so many sensors we are often completely unaware of.  Yet, all that feeback does come to us, if we are willing to tune in. Food cooked with love for cooking and love for you has a completely different energetic resonance than food cooked with the energy of “I hate this job, I hate cooking, and I hate customers”.

Walking past a McDonald’s when we are starving keeps our body in the ability to be able to receive when we pass the gourmet restaurant a half mile down the road.  Further, the pangs of hunger just accentuate the joy of receiving real food when it becomes available.

Do manipulators get more?

That question comes up a lot. On the face of it, it may seem like manipulators are more successful. Yet, when people give unwillingly to a manipulator, that is not a lasting giving. Eventually, they will work their way up to the courage to quit. Moreover, while they are working up their courage, there are a hundred and one ways of showing their resentment at feeling manipulated that creep into the transaction, whether that’s a pinch too much salt, or the food being served slightly too late when it’s already cooled, making too much noise with the dishes, burning yourself by mistake. When we are cooking with love, we seldom if ever hurt ourselves. When we are cooking out of duress, we frequently hurt ourselves. What we are subconsciously doing is accumulating further reasons to get our courage up to finally say “No, I am not choosing this anymore”.

We teach the universe and the people around us how to treat us. Let’s teach them to treat us the way we wish to be treated.